There is a beast inside me
I don’t know what it is
It hides deep down within me
I don’t know where it lives.

I never know when he’s around
He comes and goes at will.
I don’t want him to come around,
And yet he visits still.

He starts to heat my feet,
A flame burning on the sole
I sometimes realise that it’s him,
But mostly, he takes control

From my feet up to my head
His hands grip like a vice
Squeezing tightly around my brain
With burning fingers made of ice.

My eyes he holds so tight,
They cant see to either side
See only what he wants,
As he takes me on a ride.

And then I feel it’s arms,
As they wrap around my chest
Crushing, holding choking
Suffocating at it’s behest.

And now I’m only watching,
As of my mouth he takes control.
Directing hate at all around
Spouting streams of vitriol

At last he takes my hands and feet,
And uses them for his release.
Flailing, milling smashing
He’ll never let me know inner peace.

So once he’s done his work
And fear and anger is all I see,
One final twist for me he has
Self loathing, for the beast is me.