I envy lonely people, I really do.
Not for them…
The intrusion of idle chat
When watching TV…boringly.
The shadow on the newspaper as
Someone reads over one’s shoulder…
Blocking the light…rudely.
The bombardment of snoring
On one’s ears when
One has to get up
Early the next day…annoyingly.
The shrinkage of one’s favourite jumper
In the wash by someone else…stupidly.
The music competition between various appliances
In increasingly ascending crescendos…noisily.
The pressing desire to relieve oneself
In the toilet…being obstructed by someone
Having an hour-long soak in the bath…inconsiderately.
The “what are you thinking about?” comment
When one reaches an exciting episode in a book…nosily.
Finding that the last three chocolate biscuits that
One was saving for supper have been eaten…selfishly.

Oh! The joy of being lonely…
How I long to be lonely.
Well for some of the time…conveniently.
Not lonely all of the time…you understand?
Just a little bit…let’s say between
The hours of 7 and 9 pm.
Because I’m glad really…to have someone
With whom I can share my life…
For most of the time…maybe
Even all of the time. However,
They wouldn’t have to be with me
All of the time. Perhaps they can be with me
Most of the time…and at other times
With me in spirit…comfortingly.
Hmm!…Come to think of it…being lonely
Might not be such an attractive proposition
After all…not so desirable.
No! Actually, I wouldn’t like to be lonely at all…
No! Not one bit…not one little bit.
Oh well! Never mind…forget I mentioned it.
Now! I need to talk to someone…
Where is everybody?