Long ago, we lived in a great big house
Every day we ate, Pheasant or Grouse
Mr Gardner was our permanent head cook
Mummy thought he was a rotten old crook
He sat in the kitchen and read all day
Daddy would say, He doesn’t earn his pay.

Our clever head gardener named Mr Cook
Mummy thought he was a rotten old crook
From five o’clock, he was always away
When he came back, he slept right through the day
Didn’t even awake when we went out to play
Daddy would say, He doesn’t earn his pay.

Daddy went out for a drink of strong wine
Because he was drunk, he got a big fine
Policeman Rob said Now you’ve gone too far
Drinking that wine, and then driving your car
He said to Daddy, It’s in the law book
Mummy thinks Rob is a rotten old crook.

Now we don’t have a house; we live in a tent
In a big field, for which Daddy pays rent
This big field belongs to old farmer Snook
Mummy just thinks he’s a rotten old crook
Daddy just shovels up cow’s muck and hay
Farmer Snook says He doesn’t earn his pay.

Last night Daddy came home, he was quite drunk
He looked just awful, and smelt like a Skunk
Mummy was angry, she called him a Swine
And said she whould hang him out on the line
She screamed and shouted; called him a crook
They say Daddy went for a swim in the brook