Since I was a “Special” some years ago
A story has stayed on my mind
When we were called to a shout, my mate and me
And wondered what we would find
The call came over the Radio
For the 2 of us to attend
At the local branch of M & S
A “Shoplifter” to apprehend
We were met outside the premises
By the “local” Constable there
But when introduced to the Store Detective
She gave us all such a scare
“Dragon Lady” came to mind
To describe this lady of large proportions
Just one dreadful stare from her
Had more effect than warnings or cautions
We entered the Store , then her Office
The alleged “Shoplifter” incarcerated there
And when we 3 Uniformed Officers entered
It gave the poor chap such a scare
As he sat on the chair by the table
While “Dragon Lady” her evidence gave
About how she’d followed the suspect
And watched the way he’d behave
And to prove her point , on the table she tipped
The bag and it’s contents were emptied
And when I saw what was lying there
To laugh I was sorely tempted
There were Knickers and Bra’s and Pantyhose
Lingerie of every kind
Oh! how I’d like to own all that
Was what came rushing through my mind
And now with her daunting task finished
“Dragon Lady “ gave us a request
Would you Officers now do your duty
And this suspect you should arrest
“Yes Ma’am” was my colleague’s speedy reply
As we took the suspect by the arm
We could tell from that worried look in his eye
That he wouldn’t do us any harm
As I come to the end of this intriguing tale
There’s but one thing I’d like to say
Don’t get on the wrong side of the ”Dragon Lady”
‘cos with her, crime definitely doesn’t pay.