It was a dream come true
I was getting married
To a soldier, to someone the nation knew
So my consent or the lack of it wasn’t paid any heed
My parents were ecstatic
There only daughter was now settled
I was gifted a white floral dress of batik
In which I was lovingly nestled
The Big Day got over with astonishing speed
I miss it now
I wish it comes back; I plead
Oh! How beautiful I looked while taking the vow
He loved me much more than anyone could
Promised to buy me a new nightgown on his return
I lowered my gaze; how bashful I must have looked!
Then he kissed me goodbye, my stomach began to churn
I prayed everyday, much more than I was used to
His letters became rare
I clinged on to the few like superglue
Then suddenly they stopped, I hoped it was only a nightmare
I was worried sick
As if confirming my thoughts, I received a letter
The war had begun and so did my baby’s kick
In the following months, nothing became better
The kicking continued
But not his messages
I cried myself to sleep every night in order to elude
The cruel truth that threatened my senses
He will come back, come back soon
I consoled myself now and then
When the bad news struck, it was noon
It was delivered by two uniformed men
His corpse looked forlorn
I was helpless, resigned to fate
The next day my baby was born
It was an hour late
At the age of twenty, I became a widow
Living with my husband’s memory and baby
I decided to move on, away from his demise’s shadow
It was difficult but I dragged along daily
Later, my son lifted the pall from my life
He swore not to follow the family’s tradition
To maintain the sanity of his mother and wife
I thanked God for his intuitive decision
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