The day had come
I excited
Made the house spick and span
For what you ask?
He knows all, sees all
But it made me more comfortable
After all
Cleanliness was next to Godliness
Wasn’t it?
The kettle boiled
While the biscuits
Sensing my adulation
Sat quietly and well behaved
On the only unchipped plate

The doorbell rang
In excitement, I smoothed my hair
While a thousand questions filled my head
A list forming as I walked to the door
Jostling for answers
But fell into line once tamed
By my ever questing mind
Logic was the key it said

I took a deep breath
And opened the door

What met me was a shock to my expectations

Stood there was a human shape
A bloody cloth covering it
As it stood in my doorway
Shards of thorns protruding from its head
A blood caked beard framed the jaw line
And slowly purpling lips whispered to me
“I am here”

I shook myself
Helped Him to the kitchen table
Heard Him exude a deep sigh
As if the weight of the world
Was removed from Him for just a little while
I placed the heated cup between His hands
Saw the welcoming warmth warm the white knuckled fingers
As I had many times in that room

He did not drink
But sat there holding it
Looking into its depths
As if counting the tea leaves
Seeing something deeper in its swirling teaspoon caused depths

My head retreated
Scared by the person before me
“This is not the God I asked to tea” it said
My heart bade it be quiet
“Listen with me” it said

I created the space as I always had
Allowing the speaker to feel safe
In the silent place between us

He sighed
Allowed the air to circulate in His lungs
And I joined Him in that space
Despite my head warning not to

The pain in my heart
Reverberated through my body
As if thousands of blades were piercing me
But I held fast
Pushed on
I had been here before
But not with such intensity
But I had been here before

A hand placed itself on my shoulder
The familiar presence of my unseen watcher
Held me for a moment
“Breathe” he said
“Be still and allow
You must be open and free to this experience
Or all will be as before”
I followed my breath
Allowing its path to take me between us
Allowed the gap to fill with the ever growing presence
Of the one sat across from me

He sighed again

“Listen” He said
“All I want is for you to listen
So many ignore my calls
Leave me weeping in torment
At the lives they live
When the guidance is but a still space away”

I altered my attention
Allowed His words to come
Heard His Pain

“I hear your pain,” I said
“I feel your desperation”

“I am desperate
Mankind has become blocked from me
Allowed itself to become encased in a cocoon of hate
Which is hard to penetrate
Not as easy as before
When things were fresh”

“They can be fresh again” I said
“You’ve always taught us that
I am the beginning and the end
To quote you”

“The end
And yet it would be so easy
Wipe clean
Begin again
As I did before….”
His voice trailed off
Became lost in thoughts

So I waited

“Would you think me bad to do such a thing?
To begin again?
To start again?”

I leaned forward
Touched His hand
“The question is, would we know?” I said
“For only if you wanted us to know
Would we know
For you gave us life
And can take that away
Make us different”

“Yes I can. But should I?
Be as I was before?
Follow my old ways?
Change may be the answer”

“I have always believed we should begin again from now
Not try to fix things that once were
Or will be
But now
What can I do now?”

He bent His head and began to weep
I being me
Moved over and held Him
Until the crying stopped
The heaving left
The peace filled the room
The darkness left

How long we were there I do not know
In that place of peace
That engulfed us both
Having not set a watch or a ringing bell

He raised His head
Looked at me
Smiled

“Did that answer your question?” He asked

I looked at Him surprised

“For so long you have questioned your ability to be human
Through the trials you’ve had
The fresh ordeals
Always you come back to me
Despite the world around you
You know
That when your heart speaks
I have to follow
In whichever form I decide to take

I sighed
I hugged Him
Saw Him to the door
In one experience He had cleared all my questions of Him
For in serving Him
We are serving ourselves
The human part
That in so many ways
The darkness wants to hide