My suits and fine deportment,
To me are most important
With shirt white as driven snow
Shoes shining until they glow.

A dark tie of purest silk
For pride is my dearest ilk
Sharp creases run down my trews
Turn-ups rest upon my shoes.

Now I look SO grandiose
Swanking in my dandy hose
I am London’s dapper bloke
But folk don’t know, I AM BROKE!

Cardboard is my shoes thin soles
Socks I wear are full of holes
Tail cut off from down beneath
Made into an handkerchief.

Right pocket, no pence to spare
Left side, there’s no pocket there!
SEE!!! looks can be deceiving,
Now truth is out; I’m leaving.

GOODBYE!!!