When I started my career,
Which was in local government,
I was on a training scheme
And went to each department
To observe the work they did.
I went out with some dustmen.
These were chamber cleaners
Who unblocked the refuse chutes
In multi-storey council flats.
They would prod them with a rod
To try to clear the blockages
And if this didn’t work
A little guy would climb the chute
And he’d clear the obstruction.
All the crap fell on his head,
I was amazed he wasn’t dead.
We had our lunch at noon
In a greasy spoon
And then went to the refuse tip
Officially to dump our load,
Then do a bit of totting
Through rubbish that was rotting.
They said I could take what I liked,
From lumps of wood to rusty bikes,
But I knew my employment terms
Would not support me getting germs
And so I graciously declined
As, in the dustcart, I reclined.
The day I spent was quite a laugh;
I spent the evening in the bath.