Ever since a was a wee bairn, a played wie a Fitba
From John O’, doon tae Brighton, a must ‘ave played ‘em all
But a didnae see oot like im, in any five-a-side hall
That ‘Big Girls Blouse’ kid, who plays wie is ain Fitba

He stans up like a statue, in defensive part o’ team
Clearin’ aw the corners but always playin’ clean
He plays by intuition, as tackled players fall
That ‘Big Girls Blouse’ kid, who plays wie is ain Fitba

He’s a Fitba wizard wie is breeches in a twist
A Fitba wizard wie a sword hand limp o’ wrist
How dae yea think he does it? a don’t know!
What makes im sae good?

He ain’t got nae distractions, except wee drams o’ Bells
Enjoys is nights o’ passion but never ever tells
Always ends up blethered yet never seen tae fall
That ‘Big Girls Blouse’ kid, who plays wie is ain Fitba

A thought a was the fitba kicking king, but noo ‘ave gie ma fitba boots tae im
Even when he’s ‘Blotto,’ he can beat my best, jist gae im on the pitch, an he will do the rest
He plays in non-slip footwear and never seems tae fall
That ‘Big Girls Blouse’ kid, who plays wie is ain Fitba