In a Hurry to watch the box, rushing from the shower
Did the splits upon the floor, could have lain there for an hour
999 was never rung, by Niece with long blonde hair
Hobbled to the car some how leaning on a chair
A & E was visited regardless of this verse
Seen it all so many times said the duty nurse
Excessive stretch or tear, you may have heard it go with ping
You’ve really gone and done it now, you’ve damaged your hamstring
Nothing can be done she said just rest it for some time
Use these crutches don’t drag your foot, you’ll put it in the slime
I’ve seen the bruise upon her leg below her big white knickers
This is the truth I swear to God; I’d tell it to the vicars
Husband tried to drop you off and leave you with your mother
Doesn’t seem so along ago he vowed he’d love no other
Tennis stars are well and good, they make you want to curse
Perhaps the best you could have done was get married to a NURSE.