The M.O.D. has a wonderful reputation…
There is no better organisation.
When you join up then one thing is true…
The M.O.D. will take great care of you.

The M.O.D. supplies you with essential kit,
And makes sure your desert combats snugly fit.
They will always deserve your grateful thanks…
For providing enough planes, ships and tanks.

The welfare of your family the M.O.D. will ensure
Before they send you off to war.
With up-to-date building renovation…
They will provide you with five star accommodation.

When you get injured then do not despair…
For the M.O.D will get you first class medical care.
And if you get wounded in the line of duty…
When you get home they will treat you with dignity.

The M.O.D is so caring and kind…
It will look after you if you lose your mind.
If it was not for the wonderful M.O.D.
There would be no treatment for PTSD.

From the M.O.D. you can always expect
That they will treat you with the greatest respect…
And in acknowledging all your hardships, they
Will make sure all the armed forces get fair pay.

So…if you think hard enough I am sure you will find
That the M.O.D is most wonderful, considerate and kind.
You may find this hard to believe…and so
I will tell you of this…how exactly I know.

For I am Jesus Christ, Julius Caesar, Napoleon,
And Winston Churchill all rolled into one.
Now…excuse me please…I am feeling unwell…
‘Cos I’m wrapped up in a strait-jacket…and locked in a padded cell.