I did not serve my twenty two,
But in nineteen years I had a drink or two,
Like young soldiers brave and hardy,
I got to know Ron Bacardi,
We drank doubles could not get enough of the stuff,
Then I discovered Pierre Smirnoff,
This friend would lead me a merry dance,
Thoughts of promotion equals no chance.

I met a German girl and she said get rid ,
Of Smirnoff if you want me in bed,
This sounded easier than it looked,
But on Pierre I was hooked,
Pierre was banished for a week,
Then a new friend I did seek.

Not like days in the Assiniboia Inn,
Yea you got it I started on Gin,
Gordon’s ,Pierre and Ron,
This kid was moving on,
Then arguments day after day,
Absolutely no chance of foreplay.

I listened and heard her say,
Your older and can’t go on this way,
When your with the Guys its just a show,
Drink your beer but please slow,
For after all dear you should know,
As for shorts LEARN TO SAY NO.