I envy my pet goldfish
He never has to wash
He never has to buy a drink
And never carries ‘ Dosh ‘

He doesn’t have to shower
Or dry his towels outside
And even though he’s naked
His bits he doesn’t hide

On a scale of one to ten
He’s quiet a slippery fish
And that became his downfall
As he slipped from his dish

I had him on the draining board
As I washed out his tank
I didn’t like to do it
But boy, it really stank !

I knocked the dish with Midge inside
Bless his little soul
The dish fell in the kitchen sink
And Midge slipped down the hole

So now he has his freedom
Out in the flowing river
A free, but lonely Goldfish
A tiny, golden sliver

So if you spot a Goldfish
Whilst crossing ‘ London Bridge ‘
Just give a wave to my best friend
Who’s given name was ‘ Midge ‘