My thoughts go back to a Sunday morn
Oh! so many years ago
When recollections started
And past memories started to flow
To a time when I was a Special Police Officer
To prevent crime was my main aim
As a WPC in uniform
And part of the local crimebusters I became
We drove along my colleague and I
In a Patrol car for all to see
When a call came over the Radio
And the recipient was me
The crime we were told was Graffitti
On a “wheelie” bin tho’ written quite neatly
Insulting remarks about the owner’s Son
Puzzling the inhabitants completely
So out came the note-book and details we noted
All standard questions to victims we posed
In an effort to identify the offender
And in Court their crimes be disclosed
But then came another call on the Radio
Of another similar offence not far away
So off we sped in the Patrol car
To see what the latest victims had to say
Surprise was obvious on both of our faces
As we surveyed this new scene
For believe it or not it had all the same hallmarks
Of the address where we had just been
Insults once more against the lad of the house
On Garden Furniture in emulsion white
Impeccably written without grammatical error
Who could be this demon of the night
And so once again the questions we asked
The various notes we started to make
For if this should come to Court at some time
The Defence would welcome any mistake
Then lo and behold yet another Radio call
Reporting a third and similar crime
Everything similar except for one thing
A neighbour witnessed the event this time
Who heard a noise and saw a naked man
Run away with a brush and paint tin in his hand
And I admit at that time we were baffled
The offenders motive difficult to understand
We spotted and followed a trail of paint spots
This was the main clue we had found
And when we came to an area of grass
It was there that our offender went to ground
So then it was down to deduction work
To see if a link we could find
For this was more than a childish prank
A revenge filled attack from a disturbed mind
The lads we found out were Boy Scouts all three
And a young Leader they relentlessly teased
And this was his way of displaying to them all
That he was a little more than displeased
And then with all this accomplished
The offenders name we now knew
So we ended our shift and passed on the “info”
For another team to pursue
They visited his house the following day
Then outlined the crime when admitted
May lead to a mandatory visit to Court
Where he may be found guilty or acquitted
But the case was settled there by the Constables
And if help from the Doctor he retract
They would have no other alternative
To be sectioned under the Mental Health Act .