A gentleman’s shed is an asset
Of that there’s no shadow of doubt
It’s great to be there on the inside
When the stormy clouds gather without.

It’s top hole if you have a notion
To play with computers all day
Perhaps dart in there with your crossword
When Mother-in-Law comes to stay.

For those with a musical talent
It’s ideal to tune your guitar
And knock up a tune on the squeezebox
Or practice your Tonic-Sol-Fa.

You may have a bent for invention
To discover a cure for the flu
Or, just slip in there to write poetry
As some silly sods seem to do.

You can cook in your timber built hideout
Make coffee or tea and a sarny
Believe me, it’s the right place to be
When you and the wife have a barney.

Yes a gentleman’s shed is his castle
His refuge, his fort, his redoubt
A place of his own in all weathers
Where the ins of the world are locked out.

There’s many a septuagenarian
Who did nowt, and finished up dead
He’d have lasted a bloody sight longer
If his missus had bought him a shed.