We turned a locker on its side,
To make a kind of bar.
And Smudger cut some tinfoil out,
To make a kind of star.

Then Oscar took a woodland stroll,
To find a kind of tree.
When asked how much it cost replied,
“To you? It’s kind of free.”

Old Chalkie’s Frau made Stollen brot,
A kind of German pud.
Another pad sent sausage rolls,
Which tasted kind of good.

But other skills were needed now,
For a special kind of task,
To find that golden liquid treat,
In a pressured kind of cask.

This task fell on to Shifty Cobb,
A crafty kind of chap,
He came back with Rhineland wine,
Quite cheap but kind of crap.

And so we sent for Lofty Len,
Who was really kind of small.
He trotted off to Paderborn,
To a kind of Brauerei hall.

Then Lofty came back grinning wide,
And got a kind of cheer.
For with him came ten cases of
A special kind of beer.

So, well supplied with drinks and food,
All I can kind of say;
A rare auld time was had by all,
That kind of Christmas Day.