It’s easy to show emotion
In this God forsaken land

The cold, it will eat away your soul like a parasite of decay

My eyes, they stare in disbelief at the horror that is around me
But my tears for the fallen ones dried up long ago to keep me sane.
You can only cry for so long.

Why am I in this gang? Is it my punishment for when I was young.

Remember the spiders James?
You said I shouldn’t do it
Pulling off their legs was a game
Is it retribution for my evil doing?
But I was young and thought it was fun
I’m sure a child’s innocent action would not be punished like this.

I was told I was one of the Chosen few, the lucky ones, the ones who will go down in history!
I would be remembered in books for all time.

But will I be a chapter?
A line?
Or just a word?
Many have fallen and will not be remembered, only by those that knew them well.

If you were sat where I am now, and looked through my eyes, what would you see?
Would it be heroes or maybe fools that lay broken and battered around me?
The twisted limbs, the battle scars, the bravery, the bravest of the brave
We come as one to give you hope
But what hope do I receive?
We fight to give you freedom but I fight others
I fight the demons that tell me to turn and run, the coward that haunts my dreams.

My eyes that have seen a better day think back to where I came
Let me think for a moment
I can see the sunny skies, the golden fields but these memories are fading fast.

What would I give to be a child, to be away from this place
The innocence and the freedom to laugh and smile
Why do we stand together for a cause we do not share?
We try to make a better place, your future in our hands
I hate this time I have been born into, WHY ME?
If my parents had known, surely I would have been spared.
Listen my friend. Listen to sound of thunder, can you hear it?
The sound that means another sleepless night
Still at least that means no nightmares to haunt me.

Do you want me to read a chapter of this bible?
I found it laying in the dirt.
Someone must have dropped it, a non believer or someone who has lost faith
I have never bothered before.
Will it bring you peace, I don’t know
I just open and read. It usually gives me something.
The words are a comfort, although some are hard to understand at a time like this.

You know words like Compassion Forgiveness Sacrifice

When I was young,
listen to me , when I was young.
When was that
I feel so old.
I was to be the one to escape the town. I was the one to be different, I longed to leave and become a man.
No one ever left my town. You were born, raised and died there.

If only I could return as a child.
I don’t want to be a man if this is what it gives.

Here, have a smoke they say it’s good for you.

When will this rain stop?
I hate the rain, no I hate the rain in this land
Back home I love the rain, it is a welcome relief from the hot sunny days
Here it is like a tormentor that we have to bear, another thing to wear you down.
My feet ache and I smell
I wanted to be grown up and not have to bathe before bed
It used to be a chore
Now I just want to hear my mother insist I do it.

Did you hear that?

Another son gone before their father.
Another letter received at home telling them how brave they were
Does it matter if you were brave or at the back crying like a baby
A bullet loves them just the same.

Don’t worry my friend, I will stay by your side
To die alone in a foreign place has no dignity
I will make sure you will find peace away from this God forsaken land.