I came across your Goldfish ,Tom,
whilst sailing in the bay,
he hopped aboard and gave a smile,
and words he had to say.

He flicked his tail, gave a wink,
and asked me if I’d got a drink
I went below unlocked the fridge
and found a beer for your friend Midge.

So Midge swam in his bowl of beer
and said ‘Tell Tom he need not fear.
‘At first, of course, it was a fright
down the plughole dark as night.

‘When I came out in river wide
I thought at first that I had died.
Tumbled up and tumbled down,
racing fast through water brown

so much more than in my bowl
I really feared for my soul,
but then some goldfish chums I met
we had such fun I did not fret –

and one was really rather cute,
her bashful glances left me mute.
‘So please tell Tom it turned out well,
head over fins for her I fell –

to cut a story really short
I have to say my heart she caught
before I knew where it had led
we were hitched and soundly wed’

‘so the moral of the tale you see
is plugholes can quite set you free.’
With that young Midge gave one more wink
and jumped back right into the drink,

and by his side a goldfish swam
pushing first a goldfish pram.
Goldfish Dad and goldfish Mum,
down a plughole both had come.

‘So thanks to Tom for all his help
which brought us down here in the Kelp
to find a husband and a wife
and lead a new unfettered life.’