Toothless Eustace the toothless ghost
Was very vain and prone to boast
His mournful moan throughout the night
Was meant to give us all a fright

Poor toothless Eustace could not see
His victims laughing merrily
His moans and clanking on the stairs
Never did raise peoples’ hairs

His funny toothless mutterings
Silly squeaks and utterings
Made his victims laugh and shake
At all the noises he did make

Toothless Eustace was you see
As deaf as anyone could be
Every ghostly scream or wail
Meant poor Eustace had to fail

A visit by the ghost inspector
(Who in life had been a rector)
Finally laid our ghost to rest
Poor old Eustace failed his test

All that night poor Eustace cried
Because he knew how hard he’d tried
To utter forth a deathly howl
(Which came out like a strangled fowl)

Banished now beneath the stairs
Among abandoned dusty chairs
He thought how once he used to boast
Of being Eustace – toothless ghost