The green maggot
It lives in my Bergen
It calls for me constantly
I feel the green maggot’s pull
To not want it you would be a fool

The green maggot it has a friend
This friend is called bivi bag
When the pair are together
They keep out the weather

We have worked hard all day
I am so fed up with this exercise play
I cannot wait for man and green maggot to become one
For I am cold wet and miserable
And only a dose of green maggot can save the day

My basher is up
I reach for my Bergen
And open the top
There is a whoosh and my green maggot has escaped
My feet are swallowed but I do not scream
For soon I will be in a dream

The green maggot it now swallows me whole
All that is left is the top of my head
I lie back on the ground
All warm and sound
These are the best sleeping bags around

I am in a haze I can hardly see through this sleepy daze
A hand is on my shoulder and shakes me awake
They are shouting get up for Christ sakes
It is your turn for stag
Get out of your sleeping bag

The torture must now ensue
For my maggot is stuck to me like glue
I don’t want to get out of it
What do I do?
I console myself that once stag is done
Me and the green maggot will again become one