by | Feb 15, 2007 | Poetry | 0 comments

Once I drank because I was happy and glad
But look at me now…I’ve become so sad.
Once I drank to experiment;
But I’ve experienced so much torment.
I had a job…my wealth I flaunted;
But now for my poverty I am taunted.
My work was poor, for I was always tired,
And then one day I was told I was fired
I once worked well, my performance was slick;
Now I spend my mornings being sick.

I drank for courage, to be brave;
Now I’m so scared…and it’s alcohol I crave.
I drank sociably with others…defended their rights;
But then with them I got into fights.
When I drank to appear cool…
People thought I acted a fool.
I wanted to make friends with ease
But all I have made is enemies.
I only wanted to be accepted;
But in the end I was rejected.

I drank with others…their company I enjoyed,
And yet I have become paranoid.
I also found that I’ve become lonely,
And isolated from others…‘just me’ only.
That others can see through me is no surprise,
Because I’ve become bad at telling lies.
I might not think their hurt is just,
But I face it now…I’ve lost their trust.
Once of others’ help I was grateful;
Now I’m angry and I have become hateful.

I drank to relieve anxiety…and not to fret;
But now I’m worried…and heavily in debt.
I wanted to be with the ‘in crowd’;
Yet now to parties I am not allowed.
I drank to look and to be sexy;
But now others only laugh and poke fun at me.
I drank to be independent from someone;
But l lost my freedom when I ended up in prison.
I drank to sleep and clear my head;
Then I found I’d wet the bed.

I drank to be popular…and to be famed;
But booze has left me feeling ashamed.
Broken promises…broken dreams…
Nightmares, haunted cries and screams.
I realise every time I wake
My hands and fingers begin to shake.
All night long I sweat and shiver…
Now I’ve got cirrhosis of the liver.
I once drank to make my thinking clear;
But now I’m wracked with doubts and fear.

I wanted to see different situations
And ended up having hallucinations.
I drank for all my troubles to pack up;
But now I feel that I’ll ‘crack up’
So I drink in order to cope with stress…
And I’ve become even more helpless.
I drink to make my problems cease,
Only to see them all increase.
For all my problems I needed a pill…
But the drink has left me feeling ill.

And then I noticed one weekend
That I was left without a family or friend,
In the world…which makes me think…
Is this all I’ve got…the drink?
It isn’t that I just don’t care…
It’s only because I’m in despair.
That I wanted a life that’s full of bliss…
And I never thought it would come to this.
Cheers! Good health! Drink to be well…
But I have only invited hell.

I wanted to prove I had self control;
Instead I became addicted to alcohol.
If I had a second chance to choose…
I would not pick an addiction to booze.
And I regret the fact that I’ve become
Another hopeless, drunken bum.
So! What now?…What do I do?
Do I start my life anew?
Or do I continue to provide
Excuses for this slow suicide?

Do I want my family, friends and good health?
My fun, employment and my wealth?
Life is mine to keep or lose…
Do I keep drinking…or stop the booze?
If I don’t stop it will cost me dear,
It’s up to me…the choice is clear.
But even though I’m wracked with doubt,
Could you please show me a way out?
Please just help me…come what may,
Please show me there is a better way.

I don’t have to accept this fate,
I can change now…it’s not too late…
If you can get me on some medication…
And help me with some relapse prevention.
It’s not my fault…I meant no wrong,
I’ll show you how I can be strong.
I’ll give up the drink and face the pain…
And I will have a life again.
Please give me the chance…help me to be
My true self…a happy, successful, ideal ‘Me’.


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