The Burly Policeman

by | Feb 24, 2008 | Poetry | 0 comments

A Policeman patient was on the ward one day,
To have his cartilage cut away.
He was six feet tall, weighed sixteen stone,
The kind of man when in trouble you’d phone.

In bed seven, he did stay,
He laughed and joked the day away.
Christine and Justin had him in their care,
A motley crew, but a lovely pair!

Nurse Tony, he was there to train,
He needed experience for his knowledge to gain.
The policeman he appeared to be,
Just routine to our Tony!

To the theatre the Policeman went,
With a cheery, “see you!” He was sent.
The Anaesthetist; a hefty bloke,
Worried the Policeman when he spoke!

“You’re only my second, but you’ll be fine,
I hope to get it right; THIS TIME!
Just bare with me, while I take a look
Into my little instructions book.”

Soon the Policeman drifted off to sleep,
With thoughts of Jesus and his soul to keep:
Before he knew it, three hours had passed,
When you anaesthetised, time goes so fast.

Back to the ward, he then did go,
Still full of drugs, he felt very low
But not to be one who shows he’s weak,
His sense of humour he tried to keep.

Before too long, the Physio’ came.
Took him for a walk, without a cane.
Up and down the stairs they went,
To see if home he could be sent.

“Okay,” she said, “you can go,”
But the Policeman was swaying, too and fro.
Before the Physio’ could say more,
The burly Policeman hit the floor.

The poor Physio’, she took the strain,
Of the hefty Policeman, ‘fore the others came.
Her hands reached out to break his fall,
Before his head it hit the wall.

The Nurses, every one a saint,
Brought the Policeman, from his faint.
“But now we have a problem,” they all said,
“How do we get him back to bed?”

“I know!” Said Tony the trainee nurse,
“I saw it in the classroom first.”
So all complaining about the Policeman’s fat,
They rolled him onto a carry mat.

“All together with a one, two, three.”
They rolled him onto the bed to be.
The Policeman in his embarrassed folly,
All he could say was, “I’m awfully sorry.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” they all retorted,
“Just lay still, we’ll get you sorted.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the Policeman said,
As he was laid flat out upon the bed!

So just as easy as the small,
It goes to show that the big can fall.
So beware all you, who think you’re tough,
Being big and brawny is not enough.


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